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Glum One

After college, I moved from Tallahassee to Montgomery, Ala., a place I did not want to be. One night, I opened my laptop and cranked out a particularly frustrated prayer of sadness, anger and confusion. When I went to save the file, I discovered a document called “Glum_1” in the same folder. I couldn’t remember what “Glum_1” was about, so I saved the new prayer as “Glum_2.” Then, out of curiosity, I began to read “Glum_1.”

As I read, my pouting turned to embarrassment. I wrote “Glum_1” a year before, while still in Tallahassee. The entire prayer focused on my desire to be in a different city. Tallahassee had become stifling, and I sincerely wanted to leave. So as I sat there reading “Glum_1” in a new city, I felt foolish. God gave me what I asked for in desperation, even though I was too blind to see it.

In Psalm 31, David recalls feeling cut off from the Lord’s sight while in a city under seige. In a panic, David cries out and God rescued him.

“Praise be to the Lord,
    for he showed me the wonders of his love
    when I was in a city under siege.
In my alarm I said,
    ‘I am cut off from your sight!’
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
    when I called to you for help” (Psalm 31: 21-22).

When you find yourself asking God, “Are you even listening? Do you even care?”, take heart in the promises of Psalm 31. Verse 19 says the Lord has good things stored up for those who run to Him for rescue. He loves us way more than we love ourselves, and as I was reminded that night in Montgomery, He’s listening to our prayers.

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