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Grow Up!

Rick Warren has said successful marriage counseling can be summed up in two words: “Grow Up!” Men have difficulty in marriage because we struggle with selfishness.

Children struggle with selfishness because up to a certain point everything revolves around them. Their mothers take care of all their needs. Next time you’re around a small child, notice that the collective attention of the room is focused on the child. Men, our problems in marriage stem from the fact that we still think the world revolves around us. We confuse our wife with our mommy!

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” And later in verse 11, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”

Love, by definition, cannot be self-seeking or it is not love. And yet, we claim to love our wife while making selfish demands of them. We must grow up!

The antidote to selfishness is service. Ephesians 5:25 says men ought to love their wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. How can you practically serve and sacrifice for your spouse? Maybe you could get up early and get the kids ready so she can have a quiet time? Could you fix dinner? Could you give a back rub without expecting sex? Over time, an attitude of service and sacrifice will change your marriage for the better.

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