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We Are Not in Control

One of my biggest struggles is my need to be busy, involved, and the best at whatever I do. I over commit on a near daily basis, and I don’t do anything halfway. While a lot of what I do is for the church, my personal relationship with Christ often suffers because time with the Lord is usually the first thing to get cut when I run out of time. I’m anxious when I’m late or something doesn’t go as planned, and I have a serious need to be in charge so things are done right the first time. I willingly and knowingly put stress in my life, and I wear myself out trying to control everything around me.

This summer I went to Kenya, and God taught me a valuable lesson about pride. Pride is the source of my need to control my life through busyness, involvement and position, both in and out of the church. God used 10 days in a distraction free environment—no technology, no agenda, no meetings, and all of the quiet, beautiful, simplicity I could ask for—to completely change my outlook on life. Stepping foot in Africa melted every worry I had. Then I re-entered America to more than 200 emails, text messages, voice mails, Facebook messages and tweets. The worry piled right back on. Yes, it was so good to be home. I missed America and all of its conveniences. But I also realized those conveniences built a wall between me and Christ. In that moment, the Lord taught me I have to say no to the world in order to make time for Him.

We don’t have to fill our lives with meaningless tasks to please our colleagues or seemingly meaningful work to please the church. Our goal is to please God. Life doesn’t need to be more complicated than listening to God and doing what He says. He doesn’t look for ability; He looks for availability. And, God is always bigger than our schedules. We are not in control. He is.

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