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Porn was Trey’s guilty pleasure, and it was destroying him

Trey Burns' Story

I will never forget when Britney Spears first album came out.

It was January of 1999. I was in fifth grade. The reason I remember has nothing to do with her lyrics or voice. It has everything to do with her album cover.

I bought posters of Britney and hung them on my wall so I could see her before I went to bed every night. But that wasn't enough to satisfy. Soon, I started making out with the posters.

My victory came when I learned to focus on Jesus ... and relied on Jesus' power, not mine.

Oops, I did it again

That's how lust began to control my life when I was eleven years old. I began looking at soft-core porn. Then once I got a taste of that, I wanted harder images. Then images weren't enough, so I created accounts online to download hardcore porn videos.

By the time I reached my freshman year of high school, I was a full-blown porn addict. I once broke into a neighbor's house to watch porn because they had faster Internet than we did. I  got called into the Principal's office my junior year after downloading porn at school.

Every spare minute I had by myself, I was masturbating — in the classroom, the bathroom and even my truck.

Insatiable lust

When I went off to college, I joined an adult network to hook-up with strangers as far away as Atlanta and Florence to play out the fantasies I had seen through porn. It was a desire that could never be fulfilled.

Each passing month left me more and more empty. I was dying inside. By the summer of 2007, I was completely isolated. I had drinking buddies and hook-up partners but no relationships with anyone of any real substance.

My wake up call came when I found out that I had contracted a sexually transmitted disease. I was confronted by how desperate and futile my attempts were to fill the void in my life. I grew up in a Christian home and in church. I had heard the gospel. But it wasn't until that day that I knew I couldn't do life on my own. I asked Jesus to save me at the bottom of my loneliness.

Hope for freedom

As I looked up from my puddle of tears, I saw the book, "The Purpose Driven Life" lying by my bed. It was one of the books my Christian parents bought me hoping I would turn to Jesus and leave behind my party lifestyle.

I will never forget when I got to the chapter entitled "Fellowship" and realized that following Jesus was not for me to do alone. So I called a former party friend who recently committed his life to Jesus and had continually invited me to his small group.

For the next two years, I do not think I missed a single week. It was not until I got around these real men of Jesus that I truly believed there was hope for me to be free of my porn addiction.

You can't do life alone

These men continually pointed me to Jesus through His words in the Bible -- even when I didn't want to hear it. They took away my laptop. They pushed me to change my phone number.

With them, I could be completely open and honest. I could confess, turn away from sin, and ask for help. My lust for sexual pleasure didn't cease when I asked Jesus into my life. It took five years to disentangle myself from my sexual fantasy world.

The disciplines and self-control were important tools, but my constant efforts to not think sexual thoughts made it harder, not easier, to resist temptation. My victory came when I learned to focus on Jesus, instead, and relied on Jesus' power, not mine.

Today, I can say I am free because I have no desire for porn. I have desire for what's greater -- and that's Jesus.

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