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Session 3

Say what’s on your mind

Read: Song of Solomon 2:1-7

Solomon and his wife aren’t that different than a lot of couples today. The woman is insecure about the way she looks, and the man must deal with those feelings or they will be a barrier to intimacy. When she says, “I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys” (Song of Solomon 2:1), she is telling him, “I’m nothing special, just an ordinary wildflower.” But what she really wants to know is if the man she loves thinks she is beautiful.

Solomon is quick to assure her that he does indeed find her beautiful. She is a “lily among thorns” (Song of Solomon 2:2). In his eyes, her beauty has no equal. The power of his praise causes her barrier of self-consciousness to drop. Secure in his faithfulness and adoration, she is free to express her feelings without fear of rejection.

Her heart clings only to him. “Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men” (Song of Solomon 2:3). She relishes in the shelter, nourishment, and protection of his love.  Expressing her faith in him and fidelity to him inspires passion.

We can’t assume our spouses know how much we love and appreciate them. We have to tell them. 

This ancient love story illustrates a timeless principle: Our words matter. Our spouses don’t see themselves the way we do. We can’t assume they know how much we love and appreciate them; we have to tell them. If your wife has a great sense of humor, tell her. If your man is a great leader, say so.

When we regularly tell the one we love why we love him or her, we’re on our way to achieving the intimacy God intended when He invented marriage: “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame” (Genesis 2:25).


  • When was the last time you complimented the person you love? Is there anything that holds you back from doing that?
  • Is there anything you appreciate about your spouse that you assume he or she knows? How could you show your appreciation for him or her today?


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