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Session 12

The honeymoon doesn’t have to end

Read: Song of Solomon 6:4-13

Picture an elderly couple walking down the street holding hands, looking just as in love as they probably did 50 years ago? We see that and think, “I want that.” But what we really want to know is: How do we remain that in love? How can my attraction and desire for my spouse grow instead of fade over time?

Solomon was able to do just that. In Song of Solomon, Solomon says his love for his bride has not diminished since their wedding night, even though other women are available to him. The depth of love they experienced started with a daily decision to choose each other above all others.

Most of Song of Solomon is Solomon celebrating the attractive qualities of his bride. Maybe you’re not a poet. That’s OK. Like Solomon, we, too, have opportunities to celebrate our spouses and put them first each day.

When we settle for short-term satisfaction, we erode the long-term intimacy we desperately crave.

Choosing each other means saying no to a nightcap when you run into that new, good-looking coworker at a work party, because you’re choosing intimacy with your spouse over the fleeting desire of your flesh. It’s choosing not to look at pornography because you know that the real thing, though it may take work, is God’s best for you and worth the effort.  

The world offers us many options other than fidelity and intimacy. Venting about our spouse’s shortcomings, flirting with the cute co-worker, watching shows we know we shouldn’t — these things all feel good in the moment. But when we settle for short-term satisfaction we erode the long-term intimacy we desperately crave.

Reflect:

  • Is there any part of your personal life where you’re settling for less than God’s best? What, if anything, needs to change?
  • What’s one way you can put your spouse first today?
  • When was the last time you asked your spouse how you’re doing as a husband or wife? Set aside some time this week to ask: What’s one way I made you feel loved this past week? What’s one thing I can do better?

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