Six Bible verses to get you closer to your #relationshipgoals

Ashley Wheelon

I’ll say it — marriage is hard. That’s not a knock against my husband. I’ll be the first to admit it’s not easy being married to me. I pictured my husband and I being the best of friends, taking up hobbies together, having extravagant date nights once a week, raising our close-to-perfect children together. And while there have been countless amazing times in the 15 years we’ve been married, there have also been some incredibly difficult ones. My husband and I have had to work hard on our relationship.

Everywhere I turn, I see couples that look like they are owning this marriage thing like a boss. How do they do it? Chip and Joanna Gaines manage to work together, star in a reality show, and make googly eyes at each other every episode. President Obama held the most powerful position in the world, and yet all of America watched him hold Michelle’s hand and open doors for her on Inauguration Day.

My vision of marriage may have been naive, but I’m wise enough to know that TV and social media don’t paint an accurate picture. So I decided that when I’m thinking about relationship goals, I’m going to the one source that never changes — the Bible.  

6 Verses to Get You Closer to Your #RelationshipGoals

1. Romans 15:5 (NLT)

“May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus.”

God’s ultimate design for marriage is a picture of unity between husband and wife. If you’ve ever taken a road trip with your spouse, you know that harmony is easily disrupted. Being patient with one another and encouraging each other allows you to work together and find common ground.

2. Colossians 3:13

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

The ones we love the most are often the ones that hurt us the most. While it’s tempting to hold a grudge or strike back when we’ve been hurt, we’re called to forgive each other. And not just when we feel like our spouse has adequately suffered. God is waiting, always ready to forgive our sins when we confess. Our spouses should receive that same quick forgiveness from us that we’ve received countless times from Jesus.

3. Mark 10:45

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”

This is a call to take that natural tendency to make it all about you and flip it on its end. Instead of expecting your spouse to make you happy, look for ways to make your spouse happy. Asking yourself how you can serve your spouse changes your perspective from ‘having to do something’ to ‘getting to do something.’ If Jesus came to serve us here on Earth, we should take note and serve the one we live with.

4. James 1:19

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry…”

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is close your mouth and open your ears. Give your spouse some credit and don’t jump to the worst conclusion. Instead of flying off the handle and speaking without thinking, take the time to listen to their point of view and understand what’s on their heart.

5. Jeremiah 29:11

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

It’s rare for life to go according to our plans. When God’s plan has landed you and your spouse in an unexpected place, comfort each other with the truth that God is in control, He knows what you need, and He loves you more than you can imagine.

6. 1 Peter 4:8

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

There are times when loving your spouse is not a feeling; it’s a choice. It’s a decision to stay committed to this person, to put their needs and their feelings above your own, and to trust the Lord to show you how to do that. John 13:35 says that Christians should be known by the way we love. The best, or worst, example of God’s love for the world around us can be seen in the way we love, or fail to love, our spouse.

My view of marriage has changed a good bit from the daydreams of my youth in the best possible way. Because I want my marriage to show the way Christ loves the His people — wholly, sacrificially, and unconditionally. When we look to Scripture for relationship goals, we find the only way to make marriage successful.

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