Commit or quit? Why living together is cheating you

Love deserves celebration.

It’s worth celebrating people who love each other so much that they want to support and be close to one another. Even better than cheaper rent and more convenient proximity is the growth a relationship gains while living together.

Nearly half of adults have lived with someone before marriage. The majority of these adults use living together as a step toward marriage.

Would you buy a car without taking it for a test drive?

That’s a comparison often made when talking about cohabitation -- living with a person in a romantic relationship but staying unmarried. Many of us see it or have experienced it firsthand, and there’s more to it than simply splitting rent and groceries.

Living together is a short-term solution for what was designed to be a long-term relationship.

Living together is a short-term solution for what was designed to be a long-term relationship. God has something more for us than what living together provides.

Finding What’s Best

Jesus wants more for us than we want for ourselves (Ephesians 3:20). That applies to our love lives, too. We may have a certain person or specific timeline in mind for romance, but God’s plans are always better.

A great love relationship goes beyond knowing each other well or ensuring compatibility. What keeps a relationship strong isn’t whether a couple lived together before getting married, but their commitment to Jesus and to each other (Ephesians 5:25-33).

“As long as we both will live” doesn’t’ mean things will be perfect; it means two people are in it for the long haul. Marriage is a commitment to love one another not just now, but indefinitely.

The Big Deal About Commitment

Jesus is so committed to us that He gave up His life in our place and did everything He could to give us His best (John 6:35-40). That kind of commitment is something worth imitating.

Obedience overcomes convenience. Doing what Jesus says will always be better for us than basing our decisions on what’s easy at the time. We can give up what's good now for what can be great later.

Are you living with your boyfriend or girlfriend, but you don’t know what your next step is? Ask Jesus. He helps us understand what we need to know when we ask Him (Jeremiah 33:3).

Visit the Care Room at your NewSpring campus on Sunday, or email We’d love to help you find your next step.

What's happening at NewSpring Church?

  • Need to Know: Weekly email to keep you informed about what's happening at NewSpring
  • Fuse News: Email for Fuse parents sent on the first Monday of the month
  • KidSpring Scoop:Email sent each Friday with the scoop on what's happening in KidSpring.