Single and Ready To Mingle?

Tara-Leigh Cobble

Single people believe two great lies regarding God's timing in marrying them off:

1. I'll never get married until I fix everything that's wrong with me.
2. Getting married will fix everything that's wrong with me.

While the first lie is obvious (just think of all the married people you know who still have major life struggles), the second one presents a greater danger. Complacency tempts us to reinforce selfish single behavior, especially as the years stretch on. If we don't make some effort to be intentional in how we spend these days, we risk wasting time that God intends to use for our joy!

Shack Up

My dad once told me, “If you want to be a better woman, never live alone.” Having roommates teaches me how to communicate better and compromise more. Roommates present endless opportunities to serve, and marriage is nothing if not service. Use these years to practice developing your service muscles.

Get Caught In The Act

Ruth was a widow who ached to be married again. Where did she meet the noble, wealthy man who married her into the lineage of Christ? She performed grueling, degrading manual labor in his fields. He saw her character on display as she worked to provide for herself and her mother-in-law (Ruth 2:1-11). Rebekah first caught the eye of Abraham's servant when she committed an act of great generosity and humility – she served water to his camels (Gen. 24:10-18).

Meet Your Maker

Isaac didn't marry Rebekah until he was 40 years old (Gen. 25:20). In the meantime, he practiced spending time alone with God. In fact, he was meditating in a field when God brought Rebekah to him (Gen. 24:63). Marriage and children come with blessings of their own, but singleness comes with more free time than we'll ever have again. Invest it! By spending just 12 minutes a day reading the Word, you can make it through the whole Bible in a year.

Scripture praises the ideal godly woman in Proverbs 31:12: “She does (her husband) good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” All the days of her life, not just the days after she meets or marries him. Resist the urge to waste your days hanging out at bars every night or playing video games all weekend. You can be a better version of yourself by getting to know your Maker!

Don't Miss The Point

While God certainly may be teaching us patience in this time, we can also develop the habits of service, sacrifice, and humility while we wait. However, no amount of habit or character adjustments can guarantee He'll bring a spouse. Fortunately, our hope is not in marriage. Whether or not it ever comes, our hope is in the cross of Christ, and we can rejoice that He is transforming us into His image and purifying His Bride. Earthly marriage and all of its joys are a flat, black shadow compared to the real thing.

Today, you're becoming the person you will be forever. If God has marriage in store for you, you're becoming the gift you'll give to your wife or husband. What are you planning to offer the spouse for whom you've prayed? How will you glorify God by reflecting Christ in the meantime?

3 Questions To Help You Maximize Your Single Years

  • How can you serve the people with whom you live?
  • Are you currently volunteering to serve at church? Sign up today!
  • How are you working on your spiritual life? Find a Bible reading plan here or on YouVersion

*Warning: if these efforts are used as a means to an end (marriage), we've missed the point entirely. Our purpose is to image Christ in a dark world; the desire to become a better potential spouse is a noble, but secondary goal -- the result of true sanctification.

Parts of this article are adapted from Orange Jumpsuit: Letters to the God of Freedom

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