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Follow The Leader

I married my husband in the midst of the feminist movement. Educated and independent, I felt equal and often superior to him and began making many of the major decisions in our marriage.  I was in control, and my husband comfortably took the backseat. As his contributions to the marriage lessened, I sometimes questioned why I needed him. To further complicate the marriage, neither my husband nor I had a relationship with Jesus Christ, and we weren't seeking one out. What a recipe for disaster!  Inevitably, the marriage failed.

In Ephesians 5:22-31, Paul parallels Christ’s relationship with the church to a husband’s relationship with his wife. Christ loves the church and His desire is for the members to love, respect, and care for one another. Christ gave His life for the church. Likewise, in a marriage, a husband and wife should passionately love, respect, and care for one another. To maintain a system of order, the husband has been appointed to serve as the head of the household, and he is instructed to love his wife as his own body. Ephesians 5:29 maintains, “After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.”

Today, I have a relationship with Christ. I know that He loves me and only wants the best for me. I now understand the importance of a marriage built with Christ as the foundation, where the husband and wife love Jesus first and then one another. In a marriage that is centered on faith, the husband will lead his wife. The wife can confidently follow her husband because she knows her husband is following Jesus. There will be difficult times, but in a marriage grounded in faith, both husband and wife can seek the Lord together.


  • If you are not married, how can you and your significant other discuss your individual relationships with God and grow in your understanding of marriage?
  • As a married couple, how well do you feel you are fulfilling your individual roles within marriage? 

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