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The lies of the heart

Without exception, every time I’ve made stupid decisions in my life, it’s been a failure to fully consider the possible consequences of my choices. There was the time when I was forced to drive across the mountain range between Arizona and New Mexico on a road closed by avalanche danger because I only had a quarter tank of gas because I’d previously decided that gas might be a few cents cheaper per gallon across the border. And there was the time when I thought that if I relentlessly pursued my career for a season, we would have more financial security as a family. I figured my wife wouldn’t notice all that much, and if she did, I’d be able to “make it up to her.” Needless to say, that didn’t work out too well.

One of the biggest lies Christian spouses will believe is that they can put their focus, passion, time, and resources into other things for a season and return and find their marriages where they left them, even though we would never believe such a thing if it were about our children, our jobs or our hobbies. The truth is that rarely do we decide to neglect our spouse. Typically, our reasoning is short-circuited by a treasure or a desire we believe, momentarily at least, to be ultimate—the only way to satisfy our deepest need. If we are not truly submitted to Christ, seeking him for the fullness of our joy and for our highest pleasure, we will never have the spiritual power to treasure our spouses, fulfill our responsibilities to them, and love them selflessly. (Eph. 5:21)

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