Ending My Life – Andrew Malone’s Story
Until I met Jesus, I only loved one thing – music. Music was going to make me rich and famous. It was going to save me and make me something special.
I was a child of two divorces and grew up in a fatherless home as a teenager. I rejected church and Christians because of my experiences. I thought they were brain-washed and hypocritical. God didn't fit into my reality: the world was a dark place left to its own devices. Music was my outlet to express myself and get attention.
One word kept coming into my mind over and over again - surrender.
The only problem was nothing could satisfy me, not even shows with my band, drinking, drugs, sex or porn. I was empty on the inside and constantly looking for something or someone to fill a void.
One evening after being in the recording studio, I got a call from an old "hook-up" telling me I had a two-month old son. My world abruptly changed. I had a new personal mission: to be the dad I never had.
We bought a house, got engaged, and I put my heart and soul into raising my son, Bentley. However, despite our efforts, we couldn’t make our relationship work. I failed. It seemed neither music or fatherhood could bring me value and self-worth. I tried to commit suicide, twice. But the Lord had other plans.
I met another woman about six months later. We dated for a while, got engaged, pregnant, and then married. We had my second son, William. "He was my second chance," I told myself. "Maybe this time I would get it right." But after being married for a little under five years, I discovered my wife was having an affair.
I took William and left, but I wasn't ready to give up. My son needed a family - not broken pieces of one.
A co-worker invited me to NewSpring, and I asked my wife to come. Instantly, I knew this church was different and special, but I was still skeptical. I tried to change to be a better person - the person my wife wanted.
But after an argument about the affair, I hit rock bottom: she lied and told the police I abused her, and she feared for her life. So I went directly to jail. She had temporary full custody of my son, our home, and my belongings. I had nothing.
For 17 hours in jail, all I did was think and re-examine my life. Nothing I had done up until this point was working. I could control nothing. One word kept coming into my mind over and over again - surrender. So I did just that, and I asked Jesus into my life. Almost instantly, my life changed.
I went back to NewSpring the following Sunday with family. During the service, I came to understand who Jesus Christ is and why I need him. I was born broken. It wasn't because of my lack of father that I felt empty. God is my eternal Father! He is the only perfect example I could ever have in my life.
A sacred romance
For weeks, I did nothing but work, come home and study the Bible, all the while growing closer to Jesus. I also started taking walks with my sister to reconnect with her, and to get out of the house. Two days after I was baptized, my sister invited her friend, Brittany, to come walk with us.
Brittany was a Christian and single. There was an instant spark. I knew Jesus brought her into my life for a reason. I invited her to NewSpring, and we started spending all of our time together: growing closer to each other as we both grew closer Jesus.
Almost three years later, I am married to this amazing woman, and we now have a child of our own, Piper. I have joint custody of William, and I get Bentley every-other weekend.
Jesus has poured down his blessings on me. Brittany and I are putting God first in all areas of our life. We are following Jesus and trying to become more like Him. And I am now on staff with NewSpring at the Spartanburg Campus as the Next Steps Pastor. I am living proof that when you surrender and trust Jesus, He brings unbelievable blessing in unexpected ways.