Our marriage problems tempted me to have an affair
My wife, Sandi, and I dated for six years before we got married in 2005. Life was great for a long time, and we had three beautiful children. On the outside, our family seemed to have a beautiful life.
But I worked very long hours as an automotive service advisor and then manager, and I didn't get to see my family as much as I would like. As the years went on, I grew more and more distant from my wife. I started to feel a void in my life, and I didn't know why.
I started on a downward spiral, looking outside of my marriage for fulfillment. I turned to pornography, and let myself become enamored with a woman I met on a trip for work. We shared drinks and life stories, and we continued to communicate over the course of a few months. Although I never slept with her, I wasn't faithful to my wife.
I was becoming harder and harder to live with. My wife confronted me about my actions, and I lied to her multiple times. I couldn't face my problems. I didn't want to. I felt like I wanted out of our marriage, and I thought freedom would fill the void.
I saw how my life choices were destroying my family.
A Life-Changing Decision
Sandi heard about NewSpring through a few friends and started watching sermons online. She knew we had serious problems, but counseling hadn’t worked.
The messages spoke to her. She told me one Saturday night that she was going to church at NewSpring Charleston in the morning, and she was taking the kids with her.
She asked me if I wanted to go, and I told her no. I didn't feel like church was the answer. I had attended a few services at different churches throughout my life, but I never had a connection to any of them.
But when the morning came, something made me decide that — for the sake of our children and my wife — I would go. I felt like I owed it to them to try.
That was the single most important decision of my life.
We started attending during the "Better Together" series, and there was a reason for that. Every week I was there, my heart softened. I cried.
Now I have no fear of being uncovered, and I don't feel the need to lie about anything anymore.
The Darkest Secrets
Every week God spoke to my heart, and I asked Jesus into my life on Dec. 21, 2015. My wife followed and asked Jesus into her life on Christmas Eve later that week.
I saw what I needed to do — to become the leader that my family needed. I not only needed to confess my sins to God, but to my wife.
I sat down with her and confessed my darkest secrets. I opened up to her in a way that I never had before. I told her things from my past that she had no idea about — things that I have carried with me for most of my life.
I confessed, most importantly, about my unfaithfulness. It was the most painful thing I have ever done. But now I have no fear of being uncovered, and I don't feel the need to lie about anything anymore. I haven't looked at pornography since we started going to NewSpring.
Our whole family is experiencing a life that is so much more full
A Greater Love
I have a stronger devotion to my wife and family than I have ever felt in the almost 17 years we have been together. I show affection toward my wife again. I truly feel like a new person.
Sandi and I have developed great friends by serving at NewSpring Charleston every week and leading a small group.
Our whole family is experiencing a life that is so much more full. The void I was trying to fill was my heart crying out for Jesus.