What God showed Dani that began her healing process

I grew up in church, met Jesus at NewSpring in 2010 and was baptized three times by the time I turned 16. I experienced years of undiagnosed panic attacks, depression, and numbness to the Lord.

When I prayed and read the Bible, I felt nothing. It was like everything everyone described about their relationships with Jesus didn’t apply to me.By 2017, I was married, living overseas, and had just started my dream job. I was involved in a church there where my husband, Fin, worked. Even then I was pretty sure I didn’t believe in God. One day I came home from work, and Fin announced that he had heard from God, and we were going to move back to South Carolina to be a part of NewSpring. I remember my exact words to him in that moment: “You have fun with that.”

I experienced years of undiagnosed panic attacks, depression, and numbness to the Lord.

I was livid. There was no way I was moving back to South Carolina. I’d lose everything I’d worked for, everything I’d wrapped my identity in. It felt like if God was real and if He had really spoken to Fin this way, it was to punish me or to condemn me. I had no interest in following Him or my husband back across the world. I resigned myself to move, and a year later we were living in South Carolina.

Our first Sunday back at NewSpring I was anxious and angry. The lights went down as worship began, and I closed my eyes to shut it all out. For the first time since I’d received His salvation eight years before, I heard His voice. God spoke to me. He told me that this was all for me. That He needed me here so that He could talk to me, and I could listen. That His purpose for bringing me here had nothing to do with Fin and everything to do with my soul. That He loved me and that He had a plan for me.

My questions about God didn’t disappear, but I was able to cling to the truth of what God had said to me. At the very least I couldn’t deny that God was real. When I had questions or doubts, I brought them to God, my church leaders and community rather than ignoring them or trying to resolve them myself.

Today I am a healed woman who continues to be healed and strengthened through an everyday relationship with Jesus - something that, four years ago, I was sure would never be possible!