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Session 4

How far is too far?

Read: Song of Solomon 8:1-4

How far’s too far? How close to the line can we get without crossing it?

We all have different opinions when it comes to how much is too much in a dating relationship, both physically and emotionally. Can we make out as long as our clothes stay on? Should we pray together while we’re dating? If we only pass third base, is that OK?

Even when we want to honor Jesus in our relationships, the temptation to explore physically and emotionally before marriage is strong. In Song of Solomon 8:1-4, the girl gives a warning, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” There are places in a relationship that should not be explored until the appropriate time.

We should want to show affection when our feelings for someone are growing. It’s not sinful to notice that your boyfriend is smokin’ hot in that shirt you love. And yes, it takes great restraint when she wears the lipstick that seems to scream for more kisses. Even the girl in Song of Solomon told us she would have no hesitation to show love for her man if it were an appropriate time (Song of Solomon 8:1-2).

If we want to experience sex and physicality with the freedom God intended, we have to be willing to wait.

But there’s a time and a place for everything. And if we’re in a situation where shirts are about to fly off, we’re trying to arouse love before its proper time. If we want to experience sex and physicality with the freedom God intended, we have to be willing to wait. And waiting takes intentional effort.

Every person who knows Jesus has been given the ability to recognize sin. Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit to live in and guide us (John 14:26). Pay attention to “gut checks” and conviction. Talk to your significant other about boundaries. Decide if there are triggers, like watching movies alone in the dark at midnight, that you should steer clear of. And don’t feel like you have to do this alone. Ask a trusted friend for support and accountability as you date.

Reflect:

  • Have you ever gone too far too fast? Think back to what point it was in that situation where you became tempted.
  • What is one step you can take today to create good boundaries in your relationship?
  • Who is a trusted friend who could provide support and accountability as you seek to honor Jesus in your dating relationship?

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