In life, we are going to face problems. And in marriage, we are going to encounter rough patches.

How we face these situations can break our marriages or make our marriages. Facing problems together can bring spouses closer. Fleeing from problems separately can push spouses farther apart.

In Song of Solomon 5, Solomon and his wife describe how overcoming difficulty helped their relationship grow stronger. After the wedding, real life set in. Like a lot of spouses, they took for granted that the other one would always be there.

If you're married, you know what this looks like. Doing things together turns into watching things together. Texts become more functional than fun. Kisses happen in passing rather than out of passion.  

Eventually, Solomon's wife became cool to his advances. She came around, but in the time it took to regret her reaction, Solomon had left. Her self-centeredness and impatience, though brief, caused separation. But she quickly moved to correct the problem by searching for her husband. She decided to face the problem instead of run from it. She chose to correct the problem instead of compounding it.

When problems arise — and they will — you can either work through them together or you can allow them to fester and cause separation. You can fight in your marriage or you can fight for your marriage. The choice is yours.

Reflect:

• What problem(s) have you been running from instead of facing together?
• Are you fighting with each other in your marriage or are you fighting for each other for your marriage?