10 ways to show your spouse “I believe in you”

Ashley Dickson

One of my favorite musicians, Dave Barnes, has a song that explains my marriage perfectly. It’s called “My love, my enemy.” The person I love most deeply also has the ability to most aggravate and disappoint me. At times, I find myself wanting to both kiss and fight my husband. Thankfully, God offers just what I need to get through those moments— grace.

Grace allows us to believe in others. Sometimes it’s hardest to show grace to the people closest to us. It’s not easy to believe the best about a person when all their faults are exposed daily.

Jesus believes in us even when we’re completely exposed and don’t deserve it (Romans 5:6-8). He shows us grace, undeserved favor, when we are at our lowest point.

What if we allowed the grace we receive from Jesus to change how we treat our spouses? Jesus forgives us and daily offers a relationship with him.  His grace toward us can inspire and enable us to do the same to our spouse.

10 practical ways we can show our spouses we believe in them:

1. Give compliments.

Did your spouse do something you appreciated? Acknowledge it. Encouragement only encourages when we speak it out loud.

2. Give compliments in front of people.

It’s easy to tell our friends how annoyed we are with our spouse. It’s harder to be mindful of the reputation we give our spouse in public. We paint a negative picture of our spouse if we only vent about their faults. If we tell our friends the good things about our spouse, we’re more likely to give a realistic representation of him or her.

3. Be interested.

It’s easy to talk about our own experiences. But what does your spouse enjoy? Even if it’s something you don’t find exciting, ask questions and be engaged with what they’re excited about.

4. Be on the same team.

How successful would a football team be if the offensive line chose to tackle their own quarterback? They’d never score a point. At the end of the day, husbands and wives are in this thing together and have the same goal.

5. Ask their opinion.

Is your spouse knowledgeable about something you may not know as much about? Maybe it’s sports, organization, or fashion — ask for their input.

6. Listen.

Put down the iPhone and pull up a chair. Ask your spouse about the day and be engaged in what he or she says. Sometimes showing we believe in our spouses means not saying a word.

7. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt.

We can be tempted to think the worst when our expectations aren’t met. When our spouses fail to follow through on a promise, we have a choice. We can assume the worse and accuse them of not caring. Or, we can give the benefit of the doubt and assume their intentions weren’t to hurt us.

8. Tell them who they’re becoming.

Let’s tell our spouses we see their potential and how they’re growing.  We’re all works in progress. Tell your spouse when you see him or her taking steps to become the person God created them to be.

9. Trust your spouse’s decisions.

It’s easy to second guess or criticize a decision, but trusting our spouses shows we believe in their ability. At the end of the day, do you want to be right or do you want to be happily married?

10. Pray for them.

Someone wise once told me, “It’s hard to be mad at a person you are truly praying for.” Showing our love to and belief in our spouse starts when we ask God to bless them.