Do you know the four things women really want?

Crystal Cox

Marriage is God’s creation. It’s a gift and a picture of His love for His followers. God desires our marriages be intimate (Genesis 2:24-25). The sexual relationship with our spouse is a piece of this intimate relationship, but much more goes into building intimacy than a great sex life. In fact, the lack of intimacy in other areas will damage sexual intimacy.

Obviously, men and women need different things in a marriage. Sometimes these needs can be a bit mysterious. It is always a good idea to understand the perspective of the other person. Here are a few things wives need when it comes to intimacy and how husbands can build that intimacy with their wives.

4 Ways Wives Want Husbands To Build Intimacy

1. Show that your relationship is a priority.

The commitment of marriage means more than being faithful to each other. Your wife needs to see your marriage is a priority. You can show how important she is to you by the way you serve her (Ephesians 5:28-29). Do special things for her often.

The commitment of marriage means more than being faithful to each other. Your wife needs to see your marriage is a priority.

A bouquet of flowers or a small gift go a long way. Acts of kindness let me know my husband believes our marriage is important. The smallest gesture can mean the most.

2. Forgive often.

We all have faults and marriage magnifies them. Forgiving your wife when she messes up shows you are committed to her regardless of mistakes she makes (Colossians 3:19).

3. Give us time.

I’m not talking about extra time to get out the door, although we do sometimes need that. Your wife needs to spend time with you. Make time together a regular practice.

My husband makes us breakfast and we eat together each morning. He plans something for our days off and our weekends. Sometimes we hang out at the house and sometimes he takes me somewhere I enjoy. The point is not the activity, but being together. Even after 17 years of marriage, my husband and I are still learning more about each other and growing closer.

4. Commit to Jesus

Jesus has the answers to your deepest questions. He has a good plan for your marriage. Commit your life to following Him. Spend time with Jesus each day so He can give you the strength and ability to meet your wife’s need for intimacy.

I feel closest to my husband when we talk about Jesus. I love to see him reading his Bible or talk to our children about God. Our commitment to Jesus binds us together no matter what changes life brings.

Women, want to know what men want? Check out this article about five things men want that can build intimacy in your marriage. 

What's happening at NewSpring Church?

  • Need to Know: Weekly email to keep you informed about what's happening at NewSpring
  • Fuse News: Email for Fuse parents sent on the first Monday of the month
  • KidSpring Scoop:Email sent each Friday with the scoop on what's happening in KidSpring.