Session 12

Are you forgetting your first love?

From Tighten The Knot: 14 Days to a Better Marriage

For many married couples, adding kids to the family is the next “natural” progression in life. The joy you feel when you look into that sweet baby face is met with equal amounts of insecurity, fear, and doubt as they grow and change.

If we’re not intentional, our focus drifts toward our children, and our marriage takes the back seat. Pretty soon, we only share a room and a busy schedule with our spouses. We start to feel less like lovers and more like ships passing in the night.

Marriage is meant for more. We were designed to experience intimacy with God first and our spouses second, then to invest in our children together. 

In Genesis 2, God forms the first family. God created Adam, and Adam’s first relationship was with God alone. When God found no helper suitable for Adam, He put Adam to sleep and created Eve. Eve’s first relationship was also with God alone. After Adam and Eve are united with each other, they go forth and multiply. 

Love each other first, then the kids. 

Even in the early church, as men and women grappled with how to follow Jesus, the apostles’ instructions to Christian parents are to love each other first, then the kids. 

While wives and husbands are to love and submit to one another, the relationship between parents and kids is different (Colossians 3:18-21). Our spouses are our lifetime partners, our kids are our legacy. 

One day, our kids will start families of their own. The best gift we can give our children is an example of two adults pursuing a personal relationship with Jesus and a deeper love for each other. Seeing this creates a safe environment for our children. It also serves as an example of what their relationship with Jesus and their future marriage can look like.

No family is perfect, but every family can make the choice to be different. We can check our priorities and arrange them to honor God first, our spouse second, and our kids third. When we make this shift, everyone wins.

Question for him:

  • What would it look like for you to “go all out in love” for your wife this week? (Colossians 3:19, MSG)

Question for her: 

  • What would it look like for you to “understand and support your husband” by submitting to him? (Colossians 3:18, MSG)

Question to talk about together:

  • Open your calendars and examine where you’re spending your time. What needs to change in order to make God your first priority and your spouse your second priority?

12 of 14

Devotionals From This Study

to Discover More

Session 1

What it means for two people to become one

We are told from the outset that in marriage “two become one.” But with all the differences between you and your spouse, how is it possib...

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Session 2

Tired of feeling misunderstood?

Remember back before you were married. What did you think it would be like?  We enter into marriage with expectations of the roles we’ll...

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Session 3

Three steps to better communication

Does it ever feel like you and your spouse speak completely different languages? You say one thing, your spouse hears another, and so beg...

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Session 4

Are you winning the arguments in your marriage?

How often do you look at your spouse and think no one on the planet would agree with his or her point of view?  So many times, what star...

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Session 5

How to keep the friendship alive

“I love you, and I like you.”  When was the last time you heard or said these words to your spouse? Falling in love seems to be the easy...

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Session 6

How are you serving your spouse?

When was the last time you considered your spouse’s feelings and needs first and served them without keeping score? There are many ways t...

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Session 7

How to be more romantic

"Do you have a reservation?" "Yes. Do you have a table ready for me and the girl of my dreams?" Cue butterflies, batting eyelashes, and...

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Session 8

The best sex is sacred

God created sex, and it is good!  When God brought Adam and Eve together in the Garden of Eden for the first marriage ceremony, they wer...

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Session 9

Why dreaming together is a powerful practice

We were designed to dream.  According to psychologists and neuroscientists, looking into the future, consciously and unconsciously, is u...

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Session 10

A new way to talk about money

Think about the last argument you had with your spouse. If the fight started about money, you’re not alone. Money Magazine found that 70 ...

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Session 11

You are a new family who can make new traditions

One love story, one ceremony, one brand-new life starting from two totally different families.   When you marry, you are gaining a spous...

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Session 12

Are you forgetting your first love?

For many married couples, adding kids to the family is the next “natural” progression in life. The joy you feel when you look into that s...

Read Devotional

Session 13

Disappointments don’t have to break your marriage

We all encounter loss or disappointment at some point in our life. Where do you go when you don’t get the job, when your kids decide they...

Read Devotional

Session 14

Commit to more than not getting divorced

When it comes to setting goals, we tend to focus on performance rather than purpose. As a result, we frame goals negatively. We vow, “I’m...

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