Session 11

You are a new family who can make new traditions

From Tighten The Knot: 14 Days to a Better Marriage

One love story, one ceremony, one brand-new life starting from two totally different families.  

When you marry, you are gaining a spouse and a new family. One that has its own routines, habits, and traditions that will be undeniably different from your own. Much of the pressure we face in marriage comes from the task of merging two separate lives into one.

That’s why it’s important to remember that when we marry, we form a new family with new traditions (Genesis 2:24). We don’t have to do everything the way either of our parents did. Our love for our parents is not measured by how much of our childhoods we replicate in our own families. 

You don’t have to do everything the way either of your parents did.

In marriage and in parenting, God entrusts you with a responsibility — to love Him and love others. In Deuteronomy 6:5-7, God calls us to love Him with all our heart, soul, and strength, and to pass His commandments on to our kids. God’s Word is to be the focus of our hearts, not where we spend the holidays or how we celebrate with our kids. 

If we’ll seek to please God, rather than trying to appease our in-laws, we’ll set up our marriages and our families for success. This might mean building a life that looks totally different than the families you came from — one where you study the Bible and pray together, where church is a priority and your closest relationships are with your spiritual family rather than your biological family. 

Through our everyday life, we are to build our family values on loving God with everything we have. When we do, we give our kids a greater gift than the traditions we grew up with. We show them a God who loves them and we pass our faith to the next generation (Proverbs 13:22). 

If we set our sights on something more important than the pressures of extended families and focus on Jesus, our marriage will be fertile soil and our faith will grow into a strong tree. Our children will play in that tree, and our grandchildren will be able to swing from the branches.  

Questions for him: 

  • What do you want to keep or change from your upbringing?

Questions for her:

  • What do you want to keep or change from your upbringing?

Questions to talk about together:

  • What are your dreams for your family? 
  • What is the legacy you want to leave your kids?

11 of 14

Devotionals From This Study

to Discover More

Session 1

What it means for two people to become one

We are told from the outset that in marriage “two become one.” But with all the differences between you and your spouse, how ...

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Session 2

Tired of feeling misunderstood?

Remember back before you were married. What did you think it would be like?  We enter into marriage with expectations of the roles ...

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Session 3

Three steps to better communication

Does it ever feel like you and your spouse speak completely different languages? You say one thing, your spouse hears another, and so beg...

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Session 4

Are you winning the arguments in your marriage?

How often do you look at your spouse and think no one on the planet would agree with his or her point of view?  So many times, what...

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Session 5

How to keep the friendship alive

“I love you, and I like you.”  When was the last time you heard or said these words to your spouse? Falling in love see...

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Session 6

How are you serving your spouse?

When was the last time you considered your spouse’s feelings and needs first and served them without keeping score? There are many ...

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Session 7

How to be more romantic

"Do you have a reservation?" "Yes. Do you have a table ready for me and the girl of my dreams?" Cue butterflies, batting eyelashes, and...

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Session 8

The best sex is sacred

God created sex, and it is good!  When God brought Adam and Eve together in the Garden of Eden for the first marriage ceremony, the...

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Session 9

Why dreaming together is a powerful practice

We were designed to dream.  According to psychologists and neuroscientists, looking into the future, consciously and unconsciously,...

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Session 10

A new way to talk about money

Think about the last argument you had with your spouse. If the fight started about money, you’re not alone. Money Magazine found th...

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Session 11

You are a new family who can make new traditions

One love story, one ceremony, one brand-new life starting from two totally different families.   When you marry, you are gaini...

Read Devotional

Session 12

Are you forgetting your first love?

For many married couples, adding kids to the family is the next “natural” progression in life. The joy you feel when you look...

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Session 13

Disappointments don’t have to break your marriage

We all encounter loss or disappointment at some point in our life. Where do you go when you don’t get the job, when your kids decid...

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Session 14

Commit to more than not getting divorced

When it comes to setting goals, we tend to focus on performance rather than purpose. As a result, we frame goals negatively. We vow, &ldq...

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