Session 5

How to keep the friendship alive

From Tighten The Knot: 14 Days to a Better Marriage

“I love you, and I like you.” 

When was the last time you heard or said these words to your spouse? Falling in love seems to be the easy part of marriage. Liking each other on a daily basis can be much harder. 

One reason couples drift apart is that they stop dating each other and having fun together. Chances are, you knew you were going to marry your spouse because you realized he or she was more than just another date. When you met your spouse, you found a mate.

Think about the differences between a date and a mate. You impress a date; you ask for help from a mate. You’re polite with a date; you’re honest with a mate. The friendship you share is part of the reason you fell in love in the first place, and time together keeps that friendship alive. 

Proverbs 27:9 says, “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.” Some of the happiest married couples don’t just love each other. They actually like and respect each other. This provides a place for honest, vulnerable conversation, and both spouses grow as a result of the other’s earnest counsel.

God did not bless us with a spouse just to have a roommate. He gave us someone to encourage and be encouraged by, someone to enjoy spending time with. 

When we invest in our friendship with God and each other, we realize we are able to overcome even more together than we could alone (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). This is what Ecclesiastes means when it says, “two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

Questions for him:

  • When was the last time you planned a date like you did when you first met?

  • What’s one thing on your mind that you haven’t talked to your wife about yet?

Questions for her:

  • How is your friendship with your husband different from your relationships with your girlfriends or your mother? How should it be different?

Questions to talk about together:

  • What are your favorite memories of dating or becoming friends?

  • What do you enjoy doing together? Schedule some time this month to make that happen. 

5 of 14

Devotionals From This Study

to Discover More

Session 1

What it means for two people to become one

We are told from the outset that in marriage “two become one.” But with all the differences between you and your spouse, how ...

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Session 2

Tired of feeling misunderstood?

Remember back before you were married. What did you think it would be like?  We enter into marriage with expectations of the roles ...

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Session 3

Three steps to better communication

Does it ever feel like you and your spouse speak completely different languages? You say one thing, your spouse hears another, and so beg...

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Session 4

Are you winning the arguments in your marriage?

How often do you look at your spouse and think no one on the planet would agree with his or her point of view?  So many times, what...

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Session 5

How to keep the friendship alive

“I love you, and I like you.”  When was the last time you heard or said these words to your spouse? Falling in love see...

Read Devotional

Session 6

How are you serving your spouse?

When was the last time you considered your spouse’s feelings and needs first and served them without keeping score? There are many ...

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Session 7

How to be more romantic

"Do you have a reservation?" "Yes. Do you have a table ready for me and the girl of my dreams?" Cue butterflies, batting eyelashes, and...

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Session 8

The best sex is sacred

God created sex, and it is good!  When God brought Adam and Eve together in the Garden of Eden for the first marriage ceremony, the...

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Session 9

Why dreaming together is a powerful practice

We were designed to dream.  According to psychologists and neuroscientists, looking into the future, consciously and unconsciously,...

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Session 10

A new way to talk about money

Think about the last argument you had with your spouse. If the fight started about money, you’re not alone. Money Magazine found th...

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Session 11

You are a new family who can make new traditions

One love story, one ceremony, one brand-new life starting from two totally different families.   When you marry, you are gaini...

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Session 12

Are you forgetting your first love?

For many married couples, adding kids to the family is the next “natural” progression in life. The joy you feel when you look...

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Session 13

Disappointments don’t have to break your marriage

We all encounter loss or disappointment at some point in our life. Where do you go when you don’t get the job, when your kids decid...

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Session 14

Commit to more than not getting divorced

When it comes to setting goals, we tend to focus on performance rather than purpose. As a result, we frame goals negatively. We vow, &ldq...

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