Session 9

Why dreaming together is a powerful practice

From Tighten The Knot: 14 Days to a Better Marriage

We were designed to dream. 

According to psychologists and neuroscientists, looking into the future, consciously and unconsciously, is uniquely human and a central function of our brains. While other animals consider the future — ants store food, squirrels bury nuts — no other member of God’s creation plans as far out as we do and experiences the joy we get from looking ahead to what could be. 
 
God wired us to plan for the future. He put a longing for eternity in our hearts, like a beacon guiding us toward Him (Ecclesiastes 3:11). So it shouldn’t surprise us that when taking the time to dream, to consider what is and what could be, it draws us closer to God and each other. 

God put a longing for eternity in our hearts, like a beacon guiding us toward Him. 

We all have our five-year plans. Maybe they aren’t written down. And maybe you’ve never shared your dreams with anyone else. But we all have them. We are dreamers at our core, and when we marry, our spouse’s dreams should become ours as well. 

Planning for the future is an opportunity to build trust. Sharing our hearts’ desires requires vulnerability. It also puts us in a position to trust Jesus with the unknown. 

Proverbs 16:2-3 reminds us that, “All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord. Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” 

If we want our plans to matter for eternity, we need Jesus at the center of them. We get easily distracted by what looks good, but Jesus reveals what is good. When we’re tempted to manipulate our spouse into seeing things our way or to put our dreams ahead of theirs, Jesus reminds us that serving each other brings greater joy than getting our own way. 

Marriage is a commitment to mutual submission, to helping one another be who God made us to be. Unexpressed expectations will always lead to resentment. But when we plan together and pray together, we move forward together. 

Question for him:

  • Where do you see yourself in five years?

Question for her:

  • Where do you see yourself in five years?

Questions to talk about together:

  • What do you want to be different in your marriage this time next year? 

  • What are your dreams for your family? Your career? Your relationships with others?

9 of 14

Devotionals From This Study

to Discover More

Session 1

What it means for two people to become one

We are told from the outset that in marriage “two become one.” But with all the differences between you and your spouse, how ...

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Session 2

Tired of feeling misunderstood?

Remember back before you were married. What did you think it would be like?  We enter into marriage with expectations of the roles ...

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Session 3

Three steps to better communication

Does it ever feel like you and your spouse speak completely different languages? You say one thing, your spouse hears another, and so beg...

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Session 4

Are you winning the arguments in your marriage?

How often do you look at your spouse and think no one on the planet would agree with his or her point of view?  So many times, what...

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Session 5

How to keep the friendship alive

“I love you, and I like you.”  When was the last time you heard or said these words to your spouse? Falling in love see...

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Session 6

How are you serving your spouse?

When was the last time you considered your spouse’s feelings and needs first and served them without keeping score? There are many ...

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Session 7

How to be more romantic

"Do you have a reservation?" "Yes. Do you have a table ready for me and the girl of my dreams?" Cue butterflies, batting eyelashes, and...

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Session 8

The best sex is sacred

God created sex, and it is good!  When God brought Adam and Eve together in the Garden of Eden for the first marriage ceremony, the...

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Session 9

Why dreaming together is a powerful practice

We were designed to dream.  According to psychologists and neuroscientists, looking into the future, consciously and unconsciously,...

Read Devotional

Session 10

A new way to talk about money

Think about the last argument you had with your spouse. If the fight started about money, you’re not alone. Money Magazine found th...

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Session 11

You are a new family who can make new traditions

One love story, one ceremony, one brand-new life starting from two totally different families.   When you marry, you are gaini...

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Session 12

Are you forgetting your first love?

For many married couples, adding kids to the family is the next “natural” progression in life. The joy you feel when you look...

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Session 13

Disappointments don’t have to break your marriage

We all encounter loss or disappointment at some point in our life. Where do you go when you don’t get the job, when your kids decid...

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Session 14

Commit to more than not getting divorced

When it comes to setting goals, we tend to focus on performance rather than purpose. As a result, we frame goals negatively. We vow, &ldq...

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