How to Find Good Friends (Because It's Not As Easy As a Google Search)

Emily Becker

In school, you've got sports teams, clubs, and other activities that make building friendships easier. When you see the same people week after week and work toward a goal together, you're inevitably going to grow closer. But as adults, there are fewer social structures to support finding and developing great friendships. Finding good, godly friends takes work. But is it worth it?

Friends Speak Truth Into Your Life

It’s easy to get lost along the road of life. It’s important to have people who care about us enough to confront us when we’ve swerved off the path a little, or offer advice when we need it. Even more, we need friends who will speak truth into our lives when we start to believe the lies.

I often doubt that I am good enough, creative enough, loved enough; you name it, I’ve doubted it. When we have a support system, we’re able to open up to and be transparent about our insecurities. Our friends are there for us to show us we are loved, we are talented, and we do have what it takes to get through.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). Allow your friends to offer you truth, and be the kind of friend that offers truth to them as well.

Friends Help You Through Tough Times

If you’ve ever been stuck in a rut, you know that life can just seem a little easier with someone by your side. In the book of Job, three close friends gathered around Job to encourage him and offer support during his time of great loss. They sat in silence with him for seven days to mourn the loss of his children and livestock (Job 2:13).

Imagine having friends who supported you so much that if anything bad were to happen in your life, they’d drop everything to sit with and encourage you.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up…. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

Friends Care for You — Even in the Small Things

While there are definitely intensely good seasons of life as well as really tough seasons, much of our lives are the day to day norms. These are the moments we can invest in friendships by making a quick phone call to see how someone is doing, to go on a run with someone you’ve wanted to get to know better, or invite someone over for a meal.

By inviting others into our daily routines, we open up space to create deep friendships. These are the moments we are most ourselves, which is a great opportunity to become vulnerable.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another” (Hebrews 10:24-25).

Make a habit of meeting with those you begin friendships with. Don’t lose touch with them despite the busyness of life, but rather include them. Make time for coffee once a week, have them over for dinner once in awhile, and continue letting those relationships grow during the small times.

So How Do You Find These Good Friends?

Get plugged in. Whether you’re single or married, younger or older, there are several opportunities to meet other people in your community.

  • Join an adult sports team in your area.
  • Sign up for an art class nearby.
  • Join a Group and get to know some people at church in a smaller setting.
  • Volunteer and meet people who care about the same cause as you.

It’s not easy to take a leap and try something new, but the friendships are worth it.

Be a good friend to someone else. Think of people you interact with regularly. Is there an acquaintance in your life who could use some encouragement? Maybe that friend from work has similar interests outside of work. If we become intentional about the people around us, new friendships could grow into something we never imagined!

Pray that God would reveal a good friendship to you. You may be surprised by who He brings into your life, or who may already be there. Pray that you would be intentional with the people in your life, and that you would be a good friend to others. God created us for relationships and community. He wants you to have good friends to rely on, so seek Him and He will be faithful.

Related Content

to Discover More

Article

5 important but hard questions for friends to ask

community friendship accountability discipleship

Do you have one of those friends you will answer any question you throw at them? Do you have friends who will... read more

Read Article

Article

Disability in the church: Givers or takers?

community church children hospitality friendship

Disabled, differently-abled, handicapped, special needs. Even though I have a child who fits these ... read more

Read Article

Article

Four reasons Christians need the church

community church serving

A few weeks after high school graduation and shortly before leaving for college, my dad came home with a 1995... read more

Read Article

Article

Four ways the church is like a big family

family community church relationships

My dad’s side of the family is pretty close. We eat a big family meal at Thanksgiving and take a vacati... read more

Read Article

Article

Why Christians pray together, not just in private

community church prayer

I vividly remember the first time someone asked me to pray out loud in a large group. I was terrified. A mill... read more

Read Article

Sermon

Born to Worship

From So Will I

Nov 19, 2018

community church worship purpose

Jesus didn’t die so we could worship for 75 minutes a week at church. We are made to worship as we gath... read more

Watch Sermon

Sermon

Exalt His Name Together

From So Will I

Nov 12, 2018

community church worship

Do you want to experience Jesus to the full? In this message, Blake Goss explains why our vision of God expan... read more

Watch Sermon

News

If there’s one thing you need to do this year, it’s Connect

Jan 9, 2017

community church jesus relationships

Sign up for a unique and fun experience designed to help you get more out of life.

Read News

Story

How a football star shined in the darkness

Sep 2, 2018

family evangelism community relationships friendship grief

High school standout Jacory Benson racked up yards and acclaim, but his no ordinary family changed the game.

Read Story

Sermon

How to Stay Activated

From Activated

May 26, 2019

community church relationships following jesus

Do you have a "they"? In this message, our Anderson Campus Pastor, Riley Cummings, shares what it looks like... read more

Watch Sermon

Sermon

Gauntlet Packing List

From Gauntlet 2019

July 25, 2019

community faith friendship discipleship

Students leave Gauntlet week with some great memories and on fire for Jesus. In this message, Brad Cooper sen... read more

Watch Sermon

Study

Ready to Receive: A 5-Day Devotional for NewSpring Women's Conference

community women friendship discipleship

Do you want God to move in your life? We all do. But if prayer is all that comes to mind when we seek, we ove... read more

Read Study

What's happening at NewSpring Church?

  • Need to Know: Weekly email to keep you informed about what's happening at NewSpring
  • Fuse News: Email for Fuse parents sent on the first Monday of the month
  • KidSpring Scoop: Email sent at the beginning of each series to give you the scoop on what's happening in KidSpring
  • Read My Bible: Daily devotional sent via text from 6-7am

Subscribe