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How to Find Good Friends (Because It’s Not As Easy As a Google Search)

By: emily becker

In school, you've got sports teams, clubs, and other activities that make building friendships easier. When you see the same people week after week and work toward a goal together, you're inevitably going to grow closer. But as adults, there are fewer social structures to support finding and developing great friendships. Finding good, godly friends takes work. But is it worth it?

Friends Speak Truth Into Your Life

It’s easy to get lost along the road of life. It’s important to have people who care about us enough to confront us when we’ve swerved off the path a little, or offer advice when we need it. Even more, we need friends who will speak truth into our lives when we start to believe the lies.

I often doubt that I am good enough, creative enough, loved enough; you name it, I’ve doubted it. When we have a support system, we’re able to open up to and be transparent about our insecurities. Our friends are there for us to show us we are loved, we are talented, and we do have what it takes to get through.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). Allow your friends to offer you truth, and be the kind of friend that offers truth to them as well.

Friends Help You Through Tough Times

If you’ve ever been stuck in a rut, you know that life can just seem a little easier with someone by your side. In the book of Job, three close friends gathered around Job to encourage him and offer support during his time of great loss. They sat in silence with him for seven days to mourn the loss of his children and livestock (Job 2:13).

Imagine having friends who supported you so much that if anything bad were to happen in your life, they’d drop everything to sit with and encourage you.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up…. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

Friends Care for You — Even in the Small Things

While there are definitely intensely good seasons of life as well as really tough seasons, much of our lives are the day to day norms. These are the moments we can invest in friendships by making a quick phone call to see how someone is doing, to go on a run with someone you’ve wanted to get to know better, or invite someone over for a meal.

By inviting others into our daily routines, we open up space to create deep friendships. These are the moments we are most ourselves, which is a great opportunity to become vulnerable.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another” (Hebrews 10:24-25).

Make a habit of meeting with those you begin friendships with. Don’t lose touch with them despite the busyness of life, but rather include them. Make time for coffee once a week, have them over for dinner once in awhile, and continue letting those relationships grow during the small times.

So How Do You Find These Good Friends?

Get plugged in. Whether you’re single or married, younger or older, there are several opportunities to meet other people in your community.

  • Join an adult sports team in your area.
  • Sign up for an art class nearby.
  • Join a Group and get to know some people at church in a smaller setting.
  • Volunteer and meet people who care about the same cause as you.

It’s not easy to take a leap and try something new, but the friendships are worth it.

Be a good friend to someone else. Think of people you interact with regularly. Is there an acquaintance in your life who could use some encouragement? Maybe that friend from work has similar interests outside of work. If we become intentional about the people around us, new friendships could grow into something we never imagined!

Pray that God would reveal a good friendship to you. You may be surprised by who He brings into your life, or who may already be there. Pray that you would be intentional with the people in your life, and that you would be a good friend to others. God created us for relationships and community. He wants you to have good friends to rely on, so seek Him and He will be faithful.

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